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| Ungrouped | By Knowl | 08/07/2010 at 19:59 |
By Hank Chinaski
On the 22nd of May I spent the day in a quaint little suburb of Liverpool; I think it was called 'Chester'. My girlfriend and I had travelled the reasonably short distance from Manchester to gaze at the marvellous architecture and disproportionately high level of non-indigenous wildlife that the home of Hollyoaks has to offer.
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As we waited for the bus back to the centre of Chester where a night of fine(ish) food, fine(ish) booze and a fine(not even ish, cos it was bollocks) hotel bed awaited us, I asked my girlfriend for a moments of solitude to review the goings on of the days football. The sheep fornicating half of the CCFC duopoly (since Chester City's demise) were taking on the might of Blackpool in the championship play-off final. As a north-west resident I had my fingers crossed for a resounding Cardiff victory. A trip to England's Vegas on an 'away' day takes me a lot less time than my fortnightly pilgrimage to the fax machine sponsored theatre of dreams and after Burnley departed Earth's orbit the season before, I was not keen to witness another local side depart the Championship's gravitational pull, irrespective of the clarets' Icarus-like descent back to normality.
Unfortunately, like the Manta Rays before them, Blackpool refused to stay within my grasp and a quick check on my phone confirmed that I would not be enjoying a steward induced restricted view of one of our defenders getting pushed off the ball by Ben Burgess again next season. Oh cruel world.
Later that night I watched Diego Milito effortlessly turn Daniel Van Buyten inside out and reflected on our season and Blackpool's triumph. This will probably be the only time that this appears in print but watching Inter reminded me of the aforementioned seasiders and their backwards, Villa look-a-like neighbours the season before.
Jose 'Jose Mourinho' Mourinho opted for his trademark 4-3-3 formation that night and they were never troubled by an incredibly efficient, well organised (stereotype utilised purely for comedic effect) Bayern. Maicon bombed forward, Eto'o inexplicably didn't mind playing on the left of a front three (bearing in mind his protestations at Barca) and Sneijder pulled the strings.
'So what does this have to do with Cov' I hear you say? OK big gob, I'll tell you what.
Last season was the dullest season I can remember. Seriously though, the season before was boring but at least we had Birmingham away, Wolves at home and Danny Fox and Scott Dann to watch. I was genuinely surprised when Coleman went as I didn't think Ranson would sack him, but as bad as it had been, I wasn't overjoyed like when Strachan or Reid left. A prevailing sense of apathy had crept in. The inertia of the Coleman regime had set in as firmly with me as it had with the team. However when he left, I dared to dream. I dreamt of a Mowbray-led team that would finish 12th after scoring a record number of goals whilst also conceding a record number of goals. Kris Boyd up front scores eighty and Chris Brunt gets seventy assists but Mowbray's staunch refusal to play with more than a flat back two means that we concede an average of four goals per game with Elliott Ward (with a brand new £250 p/w contract) at fault for 99.8% of them. Jermaine Grandison was at fault for the other, but Mowbray had told him to mark their keeper at the time so no wonder he was out of position
Alternatively, Paul Tisdale takes over. He continues his exceptional run of never having two consecutive defeats (citation needed) only for us to get beat in the play off final by another average north-west team (Preston probably) to deny me another short trip. On the plus side, Jermaine Grandison scores 35 goals as a converted striker.
Instead we got Aidy Hoofroyd (nee Boothroyd since he got married to the long ball system, apparently) A comfortingly familiar sense of dread set in, despite the fact the fact that I had rarely watched any team that he'd set up play on a regular basis. Like Nostradamus, I could see into the future. Sammy Clingan out for 6 months with RSI of the neck, Kevin Kyle back in on loan and the sound of Aidy's voice shouting 'GET RID OF IT' ringing in my ears every time the ball landed at a defender's feet.
I'll admit, the above three portensions have a tinge of hyperbole so I'll tell you what I really wanted. Ian 'Soundbite' Holloway commented that during his Mandick imposed exile from Managerialism (Yeah it's not a word now but I'll ring the OED in the morning) he watched a great deal of Championship football. He said that from what he could tell, few teams in the championship were set up to win games. Sound familiar? When he took over at Blackpool he set up with a 4-3-3 formation with the express intent of attacking teams. He played three up front with attacking full backs and despite the fact that most of their players are rubbish, they scored loads of goals and went up. Admittedly they conceded loads, but without wanting to sound like Fat Les, their 'we're gonna score one more than you' attitude appeals to me.
This is where we come in.
I was disappointed (as were many I gather) by the appointment of Boothroyd because of the style of football associated with him. I was convinced that he would make things even more boring than they were already. (If that's possible) However since he's come in, he's made all the right noises (deja vu anyone?) but more importantly, has brought in the right players. According to my Villa fan mate, O'Halloran is a strong, pacey full back, if somewhat prone to injury. The Carlisle fans seem to think reasonably highly of Keogh as an attacking full back and if he can rediscover his form, or close the fridge door, McSheffrey could be a good left sided striker. A few more players and we should have the personnel in place to set up a decent(ish, well, better than the hotel room) 4-3-3. Imagine it...
Blackpool's success last season can be put down to a number of things. An attacking formation, a strong bond between players and manager and that cunt with the drum all had some part to play in their promotion. Arguably the biggest part though was a cut price Scottish attacking player called Charlie Adam. Adam was very much Holloway's 'X-Factor' signing last season. Allegedly, the £500,000 spent on him was the equivalent of two seasons' transfer budget but it paid off big time.
Boothroyd has been quite vocal about the possibility of making an 'X-Factor' signing. More than likely a last-minute loan deal from a Premiership club. I suggest that we've already made our 'X-Factor' signing. In fact, we sealed the deal almost two years ago.
On September 16th 2008 I sat at Bramhall Lane watching a dynamic teenage midfielder run the show for us for about 60 minutes. It only lasted this long due to the introduction of Gary Speed who turned the game around, but that night I became very excited by a hench, ex-Handball player called Aron Gunnarsson.
Strong, committed, energetic and with an eye for a pass, I had visions of Gunnarsson developing into a player in the Gerrard mould. A talisman for the team who would be exciting to watch. Gunnar has not done this so far but I'm going to go out on a limb and blame Coleman for this. Coleman had Gunnarsson shackled in a deep lying midfield role, in a team that was set up not to lose. I want to see Gunnar being given the freedom to pick the ball up and run at players. I want to see him have the option of players in front of him to pass to or full backs overlapping to play in. I want to see him release the ball and make a charging run into the box. In the last two years we've stunted his growth with the typically English 'don't try and do something special in case we lose the ball' mentality, in a team which possessed the flair and innovation of a cement mixer. Given the right coaching and a bit of freedom, I think Gunnarsson could come on leaps and bounds this season and who knows, he might even get a goal or two. Though someone might need to plane the corners off his 50p head. He might just develop into the player that takes us on to better things.
Now I know from experience that this doesn't happen to us. Keogh and O'Halloran will either be rubbish or told not to cross the halfway line. Gunnar will be converted to a centre half and Gary McSheffrey will quit football for a career in telly after his successful appearance on 'Football Fat Camp' on channel 5. When the season starts, we'll probably get our customary two consecutive victories and by December we'll be on a 10 game winless streak again. By May I'll be suicidal. So while I wait for these crushing disappointments, I'm going to hope for better. A bit of excitement. A five game winning run. Bursting runs from midfield, pacy full backs getting to the line. And 35 goals from Jermaine Grandison. Surely that's not too much to ask for?
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